just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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