Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

I had better be fucking involved with step four.

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(678): View more from Georgia

he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed

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(808): View more from Hawaii

No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.

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(330): View more from Ohio

GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE

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(402): View more from Nebraska

There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.

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