just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.