this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list