You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member