I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
this boner is exhausting
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.