I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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