guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
