You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
