were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
