He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Vodka?
Forever.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
