we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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