And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
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Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
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I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs