Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
