My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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