just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
