Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
