Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
