I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
