Sober January is a disaster.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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