the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
