Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
