im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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