the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
