"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
