Me. At least after what I've been through.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just googled if crying burns calories
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
