All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Vodka?
Forever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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