you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
