She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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