Me. At least after what I've been through.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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