And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
