he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
