I'm drive I can fine osifer
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize