He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
