Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
