I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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