Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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