I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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