Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
