does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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