just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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