everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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