You're completely useless in the revolution.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
