Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he puts the penis in happiness.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
