Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
