Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
