JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Randomize
