dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
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I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
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This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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