your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
