Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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