You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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