I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
