Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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