Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize