this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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