why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
