She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
