You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
