they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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