she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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